Eva's Diary - Last Entry
May 30, 1944
My little Diary, everyone says that we will remain in
Hungary, that they gather the Jews from the entire country
somewhere around the Balaton region for work. But I don't
believe it. It must be terrible in the freight car and now
nobody is saying any longer that they are taking us, but
rather that they are "deporting" us. I have not
heard this word so far and Agi says to uncle Bela: Bela,
don't you understand, they are deporting us!
A gendarme is walking up and down in front of the house.
Yesterday, he was in the Rhedey Park, because that is from
where the Jews are being deported. Not from the real train
station, as here the town's people can't see them - says
grandfather. Much do the town's people care. If the Aryans
didn't want it, they could have stopped our ghettoization.
But they were rather enjoying it and even now they don't
care what will happen to us. This gendarme, whom uncle
Bela calls a friendly gendarme, because he never yells at
us and doesn't address women in the familiar form, came in
the backyard and told us that he will live the police
force, because it is inhuman what he has witnessed in the
They forced 80 people in freight cars and they gave them
altogether only one bucket of drinking water. But it is
still more awful that they are sealing the cars with
padlocks. People will surely suffocate in this terrible
heat! The gendarme said he truly didn't understand these
Jews. Not even the children cried. They were all like
sleepwalkers. They got into those cars stiff, without a
word.The friendly gendarme didn't sleep all night, while
other times, he said he is fast asleep as soon as he puts
his head down. This was such a horrific view, he related,
that even he could not sleep. Even though he is a gendarme!
Now Agi and uncle Bela whispered something about us
remaining behind in a typhus hospital. Supposedly, we will
say that uncle Bela has contacted typhoid fever. This is
possible, because he had it earlier while in the Ukraine.
I don't know, I trust mostly nothing, I can only think of
Marta and I am afraid that the same thing will happen to
us as it did to her, even though everyone says that we are
not going to Poland, but only to Balaton.
Yet, my little Diary, I don't want to die, I still want to
live, even if it means that only I remain behind from this
entire district. I would wait for the end of the war in a
cellar, or in the attic, or any hole, I would, my little
Diary, I would even allow that cross-eyed gendarme who
took the flour from us to kiss me, only not to be killed,
only to be left alive!
I now see that the friendly gendarme let Mariska in, I
can't write any further, my little Diary, I'm crying with
tears and I am in a hurry to see Mariska ..